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February 10, 2018 by Deborah Ma in a diary
“Pure, intense emotions. It’s not about design. It’s about feelings.”
— Alber Elbaz

Since I was a toddling 3 year-old girl, I’ve always dreamed. I’d pack my favorite toys into my back-pack and pretend I was an adult woman traveling to different countries, going on important meetings (and dates!) I’d imagine being grown-up and dream about what that would be like, to be a woman. And the idea of womanhood - its respect, its smarts, its beauty, its sexiness, - the potential for maturity, respect, and admiration, bubbled up an excitement within me and I couldn't wait to grow up and fill into the image that I could not see of me yet.

Within me, as there are in many women, are the composite stories told to us and witnessed before us of what is womanhood. We are the product of the stories of our mothers, the ones they wanted us to believe in against all odds and the truths we witnessed unravel as fiction around us. We each look to ride our own wave and churn the ones that aren’t available to us, in the midst of the wide pulls our culture has told us we should fill and the attitude we should effect, the desire we should evoke and the submission we should settle into. Within us is the voice of a lot of different men and women, and with that we’ve formed the women are.

This is to the dream. Being a woman is a charged identity filled with privileges and pains, enjoyments and deep displeasures, beauties and confusions. This is to capturing it all. The majestic and the mundane - all the other women we are .

February 10, 2018 /Deborah Ma
a diary
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En españa 👩🏻
It’s Gaudi’s world, we’re just living in it #modernista #lasagradafamilia #parcgüelle
Rose colored walkways 🌷
How beautifully you light the way. Thankful for this time and for answered prayers #fruitfulwaiting #꿈인가생시인가 #생시네
Slowly waiting for my dreams to settle #꿈인가생시인가 #faithfulwaiting
Memorializing happy moments. When we were in Paris for my birthday. Played in montmartre and ducked inside from the cold to drink red wine and hot tea before dinner #mhappym 🍵 🍷
Touring through old palaces and museums in my impenetrable puffycoat. I miss this time of traveling. #seoullife  #sleepingbagwear
Reading up and learning about Kengo Kuma.. and becoming slowly mesmerized
One of my favorite buildings in Amsterdam. For the lights, the lines, and layers
Spending the weekend contemplating those things alive, eternal, and fruitful #sabbathrest
this week’s hacienda 🏡
There’s #caviarinmybag what’s in yours? #LaPrairie💕
To the unacquainted, this is what misery looks like.. #surprisereno
Petit Tailleur
Dir. Louis Garrel, 2010. 44 min. B&W. DCP. 
With Léa Seydoux, Arthur Igual, Albert Igual, Sylvain Creuzevault, Lolita Chammah.
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